Misery! All I felt was misery. Bone-tiring, back breaking misery. I know the reason. The reason is now looking at me. Ready to shout at the least slack. I feel so miserable. For all this, I can not talk about this to anyone. Not even to my dearest husband. He smiles and laughs with me but he will not understand this if I told him. He would pat my back and ask me to take it in the stride.
You point at me and ask me to come forward. You open your mouth and tell me am no-good. That I am not putting any effort into it. You are cruel in your assumption and you are cruel in voicing your opinion. It's taking my entire will not to break out into tears and yet you don't quite seem to care. I still remember the first day you saw me. You said you had your work cut out. I did not mind then, your tone, that which now seems mocking.
When you run into my husband, you smile at him and exchange pleasantries. You see my son and make funny faces to make him smile. You see me and you bark- "Harder, faster".
I am tired. I lay awake every night thinking how the next day will go. And only rarely do I think of not returning. You agree I am motivated and even closer to my target, but you still want me to put more effort. I look at the results, you still look at the target. I am happy with the results, you are still looking at how much more we have left. And today is the day- we weigh in our effort!
"Drop it and give me twenty", you say. I promptly lie down and start with the first of the twenty push-ups! My muscles scream, there are tears in my eyes. The last five are sheer torture. You shout near my ears- "Three..Two and One." I am done. I fall flat on my face out of breath. Only 5 seconds; you are pulling me up.
We go the weighing machine. The target was 55 pounds. And I know we are closer to that than we were at the beginning. I stand on it and close my eyes. The efforts of six long months...
And nothing. I turn and look at you. You are grinning- for the first time since I met you, grinning and pulling me in for a hug! "You lost 57 pounds" you say.
I am thrilled. But for now, I will be content with falling to the ground.
You point at me and ask me to come forward. You open your mouth and tell me am no-good. That I am not putting any effort into it. You are cruel in your assumption and you are cruel in voicing your opinion. It's taking my entire will not to break out into tears and yet you don't quite seem to care. I still remember the first day you saw me. You said you had your work cut out. I did not mind then, your tone, that which now seems mocking.
When you run into my husband, you smile at him and exchange pleasantries. You see my son and make funny faces to make him smile. You see me and you bark- "Harder, faster".
I am tired. I lay awake every night thinking how the next day will go. And only rarely do I think of not returning. You agree I am motivated and even closer to my target, but you still want me to put more effort. I look at the results, you still look at the target. I am happy with the results, you are still looking at how much more we have left. And today is the day- we weigh in our effort!
"Drop it and give me twenty", you say. I promptly lie down and start with the first of the twenty push-ups! My muscles scream, there are tears in my eyes. The last five are sheer torture. You shout near my ears- "Three..Two and One." I am done. I fall flat on my face out of breath. Only 5 seconds; you are pulling me up.
We go the weighing machine. The target was 55 pounds. And I know we are closer to that than we were at the beginning. I stand on it and close my eyes. The efforts of six long months...
And nothing. I turn and look at you. You are grinning- for the first time since I met you, grinning and pulling me in for a hug! "You lost 57 pounds" you say.
I am thrilled. But for now, I will be content with falling to the ground.
lol..good one..i was worried for once towards the beginning for you.
ReplyDeleteha ha..well hubby dearest challenged me to come up with something for Misery..:) could only think of this..
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDelete