In every fiber of my being. It was a physical ache. I used to wonder what that meant when I read that phrase- "physical ache", now I know. It is an aching void. I feel that all the air around me has been sucked and I am trying to breathe in a vacuum. I am doing the best I can to not, yet I do. I live.
You are not.
I used to wonder how it would be after spending my entire life with you. As children, we met when our families met- which was frequently. As adolescents I tried ignoring your curious yet shy glances that followed me. As grown-ups, I knew that my future lay with you. I courted you and wooed you, until you decided to give in to me. We had a unique harmony. We never had a fight. Arguments yes, but never fights. I could not imagine a second of my life with you being silent.
And here is this huge and vast silence.
All these years, I never pondered on the mysteries of the afterlife. My only thoughts right now are if that, if there is one, I hope to meet you there.I look at reminders all over the house. My heart throbs with your absence and I lose you once again. Everyday I come up with a forgotten memory and I lose you once again.
My pain now is more than the day I lost you. You left me bereft with only a smile. You went on the journey and here I am still finding my way.
From today till eternity, searching and feeling and wondering...when?
You are not.
I used to wonder how it would be after spending my entire life with you. As children, we met when our families met- which was frequently. As adolescents I tried ignoring your curious yet shy glances that followed me. As grown-ups, I knew that my future lay with you. I courted you and wooed you, until you decided to give in to me. We had a unique harmony. We never had a fight. Arguments yes, but never fights. I could not imagine a second of my life with you being silent.
And here is this huge and vast silence.
All these years, I never pondered on the mysteries of the afterlife. My only thoughts right now are if that, if there is one, I hope to meet you there.I look at reminders all over the house. My heart throbs with your absence and I lose you once again. Everyday I come up with a forgotten memory and I lose you once again.
My pain now is more than the day I lost you. You left me bereft with only a smile. You went on the journey and here I am still finding my way.
From today till eternity, searching and feeling and wondering...when?
Exceptional piece!
ReplyDeleteAm so glad you read it! :) I value your support sooo much..and you know that!
ReplyDeleteNice..am strongly reminded of how my grandpa felt aftr grandma left him..i like this post..
ReplyDeleteohhh! am sorry..can not even begin to think of such a situation! :( I wrote this in about 2 minutes so I did not quite think how it would be in real life! Now I am beginning to and it is not a great feeling!
ReplyDelete