The promise

My heart is so loud...I can't quite hear what the priest is saying. I wonder if everyone can hear it too- but they are smiling. All around people are smiling, but I can't think of one reason why they are. My dress feels too tight; I can't breathe. I look around to see if there is any way that I can run out. Run away and never turn back.
Never again will things be the same. Never again will I be the same. Never again can I get up in the middle of night, drink coffee and watch a movie marathon. Never again can I dance in the kitchen in the middle of cooking. Never again will I sit alone in the rain and close my eyes and hum. I should have thought about all this before I said yes. I should have thought for a year before I said yes. I should have never said yes. Why? Now why are you smiling?
I can literally see the gears whirring in your brain. You took all of a week to say yes. Although you know me for a decade and I courted you for a year. You think too much about the decisions you already made. You have a tendency to think about what you are missing even when you aren't actually missing anything. You will never be the same again, neither will I. In fact there is no you and me, only us. I will let you sleep the noon after your movie marathon- shut the blinds to keep the light out. I will clap after your impromptu weird dance while you cook, bang on vessels to make music if I can. I will be there waiting with a towel when you come in from the rain....Will be there for you no matter the time, no matter the situation..This, this is my promise.