On a boulevard of broken dreams

I collect the last bit of paper. I switch off the lights and shut the windows. I check to see if the alarm system is in place. I am on my way out when I spot something I had missed. A manuscript about an inch thick. It lies tucked behind a chair outside one of the agents' office. I take it out. It was folded and roughly treated! I smoothed out the creases on the paper. A book named "The apothecary's lament".
I put it in my duffel bag and carry it home. I finish my dinner and sit down with the book and a cup of cocoa. It is raining outside and the light is dim. I prefer it this way. I start with the dedication; it was to the author's mother. I am always happy whenever I read witty and touching dedications such as this. I start to read...
I finish the last page and keep it all in in order. I pause for a second to think of the effort that went in to write this book. Sleepless nights, the fevered typing of the word processor, the hundreds of caffeine shots. The stench of sweat and the brightness of light. The missed social events and the parties and beers. Then comes the search for an agent, countless calls, countless appointments and the blunt rejections. The broken dreams...
It takes a lot of guts to write our thoughts down without bothering about the criticism and the soul is bare for everyone to see and talk. I salute you!
I climb up the stairs to the room and place the manuscript in A rack among similar friends..the room of unpublished magnum opus..I shut the door softly.

Just a few more...

I stand outside the restroom, fiddling with my sleeve. I pause to hear the toilet flush. And you come out with a smile on your face. I ask you if you flushed, you nod your head. And when I ask if you washed your hands, you bring them up to my nose; I can smell the aloe in the liquid. Your eyes sparkle as if you have accomplished a herculean task.
I did not expect this. I was absolutely blindsided by this. Even this morning, I made a smiley face pancake that you love. You went at it with gusto. You wanted your chocolate milk and even a cookie- right in the morning! Of course, I refused and you gave me the silent treatment for all of five minutes. That's new in itself. I should have guessed.
When we went up to put on your school clothes, you walked right past the bed where I had laid your clothes out and you picked a yellow dress with daisies. I was stunned. Not happened so far. I tied your hair in pigtails. It was then this happened. You wanted to go to the loo.
I walked in with you as usual. You stood there watching me with hands crossed, legs crossed too. I ask you to go. And you say- "Not with you in here, ma..Go out!"
I stand outside the door. I anticipate your cry anytime. But even this normal task is just another reminder, that you are growing up. My baby is growing. To be a wonderful individual, to her own self, with her own preference and mind. You might even like death metal...
Here's hoping to the innocence of childhood even when grown up. You stand on tiptoes, kiss me and run to the bus!

The wait

I didn't say thanks to the lady next to me in the bus for scooting over. I always say thanks. And today at the office, I did not wish anyone good morning. Neither did I feel like sharing my lunch with my colleagues. It was an Indian dish, a particular favorite among my colleagues. In fact, I did not even go to the lunch room, just shoved the tasteless mash into my mouth. My work was very precise today; my mails too.
And I blame it all on the call. That one call that changed my life and just flipped it. I checked the mirror this morning if my grays were showing, or if my teeth were stained. I just wanted to presentable. Very presentable. I can not wait for the clock to strike 5.30. I am out like a gunshot, everyone just glances at me in surprise. But today is important.
I cleaned the house twice yesterday and vacuumed once last night. There are fresh flowers everywhere. I am totally breathless. I am breathing but my heart is so still and yet beating. My hands are cold and I pump them. I don't want to drop anything or anyone.
I have faced numerous taunts about a broken belly for years. The tears were hot. And that call changed my life.There were moments when I doubted if I was upto the task, if I deserved it. It felt really weird to childproof an apartment that had- for the exception of spare furniture- laid barren. I was making lists; there was actually green stuff in my refrigerator and not just cans and cartons. It was a great feeling. It was a home.
I hear the bell ring. I am going to meet my son. I am going to be a mother..The wait is over.

#100

No matter how short the word, people will find a way of saying it with a bigger but useless word! Case in point- Yes becomes Uh-huh!! No becomes Na-uh! Fine becomes whatever!!

#29

Love is- watching someone sleep with drool coming out of their mouth and thinking- "How cute."

The w's

In a slasher thriller, why do people still get out of the car in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere and persist in trying to call from a stranger's house? Haven't they learnt from the movies that have already come and gone?