Win me an Oscar

You are a sucky person.
There, I said it. With the vocabulary of a teen, I said it. You are truly a sucky person.  You are late to the sets, you give excuses about the time. You keep us all waiting for hours together for you to put up an appearance on readings. You drink and party and are hungover on set. You delay make up while you snort in your trailer. Make up a is a nightmare with those teeth and sallow skin that you have developed as a result of those binges. You put on airs and talk down to everyone on the set. You don't take kindly to someone else taking the spotlight off of you. You want to be waited hand and foot. I remember the time when you had to have Deep Dish Pizza in the middle of the night, when all we wanted was to finish the shot and go home and sleep. We did not start shooting until we woke up a famous chef, listened to his curses, owed him a thousand favors for that one frigging pizza. When it came, you smelled it, said it smelled cheesy and threw it into garbage. You are sucky.
Yet you transform. When you get into the shot, the individual that was a collective pain in our asses ceases to exist. You are what the story says you are. You disappear beneath the sometimes subtle sometime flashy character. If we were to do retakes that was probably because your co-stars weren't expecting that greatness from a sucky individual. You are simply a delight with your improvisations and timing your dialogues.I begin to recollect why we buzzed around you and signed you.
This story is going to make those Academy members cry. Win me an Oscar,you sucky person