Tuesday, July 31, 2012

#56

Toys seem numerous on the floor than when in the box, especially if you have to pick them up the last thing in a day!

Friday, July 20, 2012

#55

You give the baby fever reducer and you immediately have an active baby who wants to do all the stuff she/he did not when feverish...and this is inversely proportionally to the amount he/she has been sick..

Monday, July 16, 2012

On the day of your wedding

I still haven't decided if I am going to your wedding or not. My bowl of cereal seems sorry too.I scowl at the wedding invite long and hard almost willing it to make up my mind for me. And it stays quiet like the rest of the house. 
We were childhood friends. My father knew your mother; he handled her finances. And we became quick friends the day you defended me from a bully wanting my cycle. You walked me home and I stared at the red ribbons in your hair when you walked away. It slipped easily from friends to becoming sweethearts. I could complete your sentences and you could beat me at beer-pong. All of our firsts were together, with each other and I would not want it any other way.
As we grew up, we also became individuals, individuals who wanted different things in life. It was an unspoken break-up. You just up and moved to a different country and I knew that would be it.
Your e-mails were always friendly, always sweet. And there was an ache in my heart that I did not quite manage to quench. You met someone. I read the mail, re-read it a hundred times and I could still not will it to change.
Now, I stand here in front of the mirror with a shirt in my hand. I look at myself. No matter how much things have changed, I still can not see my first love being married to someone else. No...
I throw the shirt down, dump the cereal and head back to bed.
Happy married life.

Monday, July 9, 2012

#42

Weight never stays away long enough for us to miss it.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Moving on

I should get it out tomorrow. Its been eating at me for 2 months now and I don't think I can carry it on any longer. I have changed drastically- both physically; I can see my rib cage, and emotionally. I can no longer just go to sleep at night with the same light heartedness that I had when we were courting. I don't smile at the day's events in retrospect. I close my eyes willing sleep to come.
The monitors beep. The heart monitor indicates a steady beat. I see the vapors on the mask that is around your nose and mouth. Must be very uncomfortable.Your head wound scar is now only a silver line. It is no longer gushing blood like the first time I brought you here. Your hair is a little long, you are in for a trim tomorrow. You are thinner and I can see the blue of your veins in stark contrast to the pale skin that was once beautifully tanned. And your eyes are closed.
I have been at your bedside since that night of our engagement 5 years ago. you met with a crash after the celebratory dinner. I have been at your bedside every morning and every night. I go to work thinking of you and I come back. I have changed numerous jobs. I have lost numerous wedding, engagements myself. I have lost friends and relatives, some think I am crazy to continue this way. I was able to defend myself until that day. That day when I truly realized what I have been missing. It is not the comfort of a warm body, it is not the comfort of the shelter over my head, and it is most definitely not the wealth.
" It is with this ring, I wed thee." I silently mouth. I slip the band on your hand and on mine. Yours does not fit. I am married now- in sickness and in health. I am comfortable in that huge chair when I read Gone with the wind.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The judge

"That was a classic song and you butchered it." I say into the mike. The overhead lights blind me. I am sweating. The camera pans on me and moves back. I call cut. I mop my sweat, the make-up assistant repowders my face and we go back to shooting. I continue from where I had left off ten minutes earlier. You stand on the stage- a nervous wreck. You already know I hate it and do not like the way it is going. I go on further to strongly prove my point that although the song was great, the music was great and you were pitch perfect you simply had no soul- which was the most essential thing according to me.
The other two judges do not quite agree with me. One thinks that you were courageous even to attempt this and the other things she likes the emotion she heard! I vote a strong no to the two yes-es..you are in through the next round.
Who am I to judge you? Why am I here to judge you? Why should I judge you? I have a career that just recently took off. I am not currently making any albums and I have been the subject of tabloid speculations and scandals. But does that mean I get the right to crush someone's dream? That I be the judge that decides if you should pursue your dream? That you put a brave attempt in front of millions. That this show will help you transition from the bathroom singer to an international voice?
I don't quite want to know the answer for the fear of hurting myself...besides am being paid cool shit!