Moving on

I should get it out tomorrow. Its been eating at me for 2 months now and I don't think I can carry it on any longer. I have changed drastically- both physically; I can see my rib cage, and emotionally. I can no longer just go to sleep at night with the same light heartedness that I had when we were courting. I don't smile at the day's events in retrospect. I close my eyes willing sleep to come.
The monitors beep. The heart monitor indicates a steady beat. I see the vapors on the mask that is around your nose and mouth. Must be very uncomfortable.Your head wound scar is now only a silver line. It is no longer gushing blood like the first time I brought you here. Your hair is a little long, you are in for a trim tomorrow. You are thinner and I can see the blue of your veins in stark contrast to the pale skin that was once beautifully tanned. And your eyes are closed.
I have been at your bedside since that night of our engagement 5 years ago. you met with a crash after the celebratory dinner. I have been at your bedside every morning and every night. I go to work thinking of you and I come back. I have changed numerous jobs. I have lost numerous wedding, engagements myself. I have lost friends and relatives, some think I am crazy to continue this way. I was able to defend myself until that day. That day when I truly realized what I have been missing. It is not the comfort of a warm body, it is not the comfort of the shelter over my head, and it is most definitely not the wealth.
" It is with this ring, I wed thee." I silently mouth. I slip the band on your hand and on mine. Yours does not fit. I am married now- in sickness and in health. I am comfortable in that huge chair when I read Gone with the wind.