#23

Pull a black hair out and you lose that follicle, but pull a grey one out and you get 3 hairs in its place!

#13

There are only two great pleasures in life- breaking the bubbles in bubble wrap and to physically contort and reach the itch on the back and give it a good scratch.

#93

Even if the item of clothing we choose to wear is at the top, the neatly ordered clothes still get messed up.

#58

Coffee is addictive. But there are no coffee patches, no rehab centers and no support groups.And quitting it cold turkey is still a bitch.

#21

Just when you are looking for some energy to carry on with the workout, your iPod thinks you are in the mood for slow, romantic songs. Never trust Shuffle!!

#28

Watching a lot of detective shows does not make you a detective. You will still spend half an hour searching for the keys or remote or piece of paper irrespective of deductive logic.

#67

What you think looks good in the mirror may not really look good in a photograph. The eyes of the beholder are forgiving while the camera lens is not!

#92

You know you are old, when a song makes you smile and shake your head thinking of the good old days. You also contemplate on how much things have changed and how much you have changed.

#81

No good can actually come from looking at an old photo. It's either the hair, the weight or a hot sigh about the good old days.

#56

Toys seem numerous on the floor than when in the box, especially if you have to pick them up the last thing in a day!

#55

You give the baby fever reducer and you immediately have an active baby who wants to do all the stuff she/he did not when feverish...and this is inversely proportionally to the amount he/she has been sick..

#42

Weight never stays away long enough for us to miss it.

#100

No matter how short the word, people will find a way of saying it with a bigger but useless word! Case in point- Yes becomes Uh-huh!! No becomes Na-uh! Fine becomes whatever!!

#29

Love is- watching someone sleep with drool coming out of their mouth and thinking- "How cute."

#49

It is fashionable to show your underwear in public but when celebrities unknowingly flash their underwear it becomes deliberate/publicity/wardrobe malfunction.

#43

Alien are diabolical. First we think they don't exist. Then we think that they do. Then because we have a fertile imagination, we believe that although they exist they probably won't reveal themselves. Finally we think that because we think they exist and they don't they actually do but we think they don't!! 

#52

When moving houses, never use the same kind of bag to tie up the needed items and trash. This saves a trip to the dumpster to check if the needed items have been trashed!

#107

Elves maybe Santa's little helpers, but with kids around, there are more clothes on the floor and more junk in the suitcase.

#59

Sneezing is an art. Enjoying the tickle at the back of the nose, the flaring of the nostrils, and the final release is sheer beauty. Contorted faces are an added bonus.

#30

When packing, the item seems to have mysteriously grown bigger than the box it was originally packed in.